Teacher Student Jokes

Teacher Student Jokes is a collection of funny school jokes, academic jokes and funny stuff about silly students and teachers. Some jokes are from the mouth of kids; their innocent questions and answers brings a smile while other are about students giving silly and stupid answers.


001.
Teacher :What happened in 1809?
Student: Abraham Lincoln was born.
Teacher :What happened in 1819?
Student: Abraham Lincoln was ten years old.


002.
A teacher asked student, What is the full form of Maths?
The student answered, 'Mentaly Affected Teachers Harrasing Students'


003.
Teacher asked, If I saw a man beating a dog and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
The student replied: BROTHERLY LOVE


004.
Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Pluto and Neptune. Everyone must attend it.
Sudent: Sorry my mom wouldnt let me go so far.


005.
The teacher asked, 'Give me an example of Coincidence?'
Student replied, My mom and dad got married on the same date.

Husband and Wife Jokes

Husband and Wife jokes are one of the funniest of the lot along with marriage jokes. These jokes are generally about husband and wife poking fun at each other and at their in-laws.


001.
Lady 1: Last week you had advertised in the newspaper for a husband. Any luck with it?
Lady 2: I got two hundred people who said, "You can have mine".


002.
Lady 1: I think my husband is cheating on me.
Lady 2: How did you conclude that?
Lady 1: My last two children don't resemble him at all.


003.
Husband: Enough is enough. We already have four kids and I will go bankrupt and broke if I have to support a fifth one. I will put a revolver to my head if that happens.
Wife: But dear, you will be killing an innocent man.


004.
They sat by the candlelight having dinner in the luxury restaurant.
He said: "Wine does a lot of things. It makes you look beautiful, charming and attractive".
She said: "but dear, I haven't been drinking"
He said: "I know, but I have been".


005.
Wife woke up her husband in the middle of the night and told him, "Dear, there seems to be a burglar in the house. Wake up."
But her husband refused to go out and investigate.
Wife: "Why are you scared? I thought you were brave when you married me"
Husband: "Well yes, that's what my friends said too."

Question and Answer Jokes

Question and Answer Jokes as the name suggests are a series of jokes in the format of a question followed by a funny answer. These jokes are typically short and are mostly around two lines.


001.
Question: Why do most married men die before their wives?
Answer: Because they want to.


002.
Question: What do diapers and Politicians have in common?
Answer: They both need changing regularly - for exactly the same reason.


003.
Question: What is the definition of the early evening news?
Answer: It starts with the words "Good evening" then spends the next half an hour tellling you why it isn't one.


004.
Question:What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time?
Answer: Your shinbone


005.
Question: Why do parents give children a middle name?
Answer: So the child knows when it is in seriously in trouble

Kids Jokes

Kids Jokes are innocent words from the mouth of kids that make us laugh, to their dads, moms, teachers and doctors.


001.
Dad: What would you like to be when you grow up son?
Son: I want to be a garbage collector Dad.
Dad: What?! A garbage collector of all professions? Why?!
Son: Because I have seen them work only once a week.


002.
Kid: Doctor, a German shepherd bit my finger.
Doctor: Which one?
Kid: The one owned by Mr. James next door.


003.
Man: Doctor, my son swallowed a nickel!
Doctor: Don't worry; I will give you a dollar.


004.
Son: Mom, my friends in school tease me and call me a girl.
Mom: Don't worry, next time somebody calls you like that, hit them with your handbag and scratch their face.


005.
Son: Mom, I am home sick.
Mom: But you are in home now.
Son: I am sick of my home.

Police Cop and Thief Jokes

Police, Cop and Thief jokes as the name suggests are about clever thieves, dim-witted cops, sometimes the vice-versa and lots of fun overall.


001.
Two cops are talking:
Why do you make your kid sleep in the closet?
I can’t hear him if he falls off the bed.


002.
A cop was cold, and his partner asks him:
Why are you rubbing your hands like that?
I’m freezing!
And why don’t you stick your hands in your pockets?
They’re full. I’ve got my gloves in them.


003.
A policeman in the museum wonders around carelessly and knocks down a vase. The pale guard rushes to the scene and shouts:
“Oh my, this piece is 3000 years old! What have you done?”
“Now that’s a relief, I thought I broke something new!”


004.
Two cops are talking:
“What happened to you Kevin? Why are you shaking like that?”
“I just got out of the fridge!”
“What the hack were you doing in there?”
“Didn’t you hear? The boss said we have to be cold blooded cops!”


005.
Why would a cop throw a watch out the window? Because he wants to see how time flies.